Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel (original)
by Shinnypichu88
Summary: The Old Version Of Attack Of The Killer Death Squirrel. before it was revised, enjoy!
1. Prolouge: The Rise

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Prolouge: The Rise**

Academy City is known as the most advanced city in the world. It is also considered one of the dominant super powers of the world due to its technology, research, and espers, having seven that can take on entire armies! (despite their obvious personality problems)

To the average person, the city seems to be heaven on earth, but the trained eyes know the truth…

And now, a certain individual has decided to rise up against the darkness and take it down…

Along with everything it holds dear!

_Just you wait_, the voice thought _I'm coming for you, and when I do you will know pain!_

The owner of the voice began making its way to an unknown destination, its mind on one thing and one thing only, revenge.

_And once I get through with you, I'll go after the real enemy, _

_Aleister Crowley!_

_and take down the darkness i see before me..._


	2. Chapter One: The Lottery of Death

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter One: The Lottery of Death**

"You would like to know…what Misaka-sama likes?" the girls repeated, wanting to make sure they heard correctly

"That's right," the one who asked the question replied, she was none other than the level 4 Air Power User Kongou Mitsuko. "A few days ago, she picked up the item that I had lost and returned it to me. I've been thinking of giving her something in return, as a token of my gratitude."

The girls gave their friend a blank stare while said friend began muttering some excuses like her family always had to repay favors.

"well…"maaya began

"WELL DID YOU FIGURE SOMETHING OUT?!" the Aero Hand asked a little **to **excitably

"now that you mention it," the other girl Wannai Kinuho cut in "I think Misaka-sama likes Gekota figures, you see there's a campaign where you have a chance to receive a limited edition Gekota figure," the girl continued, having caught Mitsuko's interests "The campaign seems to be at the Frozen Café near the front of the station…" Mitsuko smiled having found a way to hopfully repay the Railgun, but it seemed like Kinuho wasn't quite done.

"And even though she's been going there every day, she can't seem to win the frog. After the café closes she gets all depressed and becomes the center of attention…then Anti-Skill ends up hauling her away…"

"eeh!? Why!" the air user asked in shock, wondering just how obsessed Misaka was over the frogs to get arrested by Anti-Skill

"Let's put that topic aside, maybe if you help Misaka-sama she would she would say something like; _thank you Mitsuko-san, it's so good to have friends_,"

Mitsuko's nose suddenly exploded as her fantasies reached the breaking point "your mistaken if you think I'm expecting anything in return for repaying the favor! If my friend is troubled, of course I would do anything to help without any hesitation!" the girl cried as she spun around franticly, her bloody nose releasing her life juice all over the street. "Thank you, you two! Now without any delay, I'm off to help Misaka-san!" the girl cried

"We recommend that you stop bleeding first…" her two friends muttered

Meanwhile at a certain Level 5's house our "hero" was trying to solve his own set of problems…

"Oh come on just give up already and let misaka see you cry begs misaka"

"Like fucking hell!"

Ok…back to the plot!

What caused Misaka Mikoto to become obsessed with the…thing…known as Gekota? Was it neglect, abuse, or all of the above?

Of course not, she's just a child at heart!

(Narrator is shocked to death)

"Thank you Kongou-san, now we'll have double the chances to win the legendary Gekota!" Mikoto said as the due made their way to the establishment. This gave her hope, like all was not lost. Maybe just maybe she could win the legendary Gekota!

"Oh, I'm glad that I'm being helpful so don't worry," the girl replied

"Anyway…" Mikoto trailed off, "WHY IS ANTI-SKILL ALREADY ON STANDBY OUTSIDE!" she cried noticing the city's law enforcement standing just outside the establishment, they caught her glances and one who for some reason was wearing a dog mask, waved at her much to Mikotos frustration "they must be thinking that I won't be able to get it, how rude!" the girl muttered with contempt.

"So you getting arrested by Anti-Skill were true after all…" Mitsuko whispered to herself "but," placing an arm on her friends shoulder she continued "it's alright Misaka-san, because together we **will **get that frog figure!" she finished showing her support with a smile.

"ah… Kongou -san" the Railgun muttered, moved by her friends speech

"now let's aim for the secret frog figure!"

Mikoto bit her lip before breaking out into a full run "RIGHT, GEKOTA HERE WE COME!" she cried

"Excuse us!" Mitsuko apologized as the two friends entered the establishment

Meanwhile…

A young girl sat alone in the classroom, her usual partner for lunch wasn't here at the moment and her back up was also missing leaving her by herself, eating as slowly as possible, to savor every bite, the girl read her book. It was on how to help get others to notice one's presence. However something caught her eye

"What's that?' she muttered noticing a figure outside the classroom window, its back was facing her and nobody else seemed to notice the strange…thing…that stood before them. Suddenly an idea hit the girl known as Himegami Aisa like a titanium box full of iron ingots, this was her chance!

"I am a magical girl" she muttered, and taking out her 'magical stick' and leaving the classroom,

Unnoticed by everyone…

Thus was the normal life of Himegami Aisa…

During all of this 'plot' however, our favorite lolicon was continuing his own adventure…

"ice cream, ice cream, Misaka cries and Misaka dances around excitably because Misaka's getting ice cream!" the girl known as last order cried happily

"Shut up, shitty brat! It's only because there's nothing else to eat." The albino by known as the accelerator said

Unknown by the two however, a shadowy figure was following them, determined to get its revenge

_This is all part of the plan… _it muttered, however it was also being followed, by a girl who's presence could rival that of a fully trained ninja (and no, not a ninja from Naruto. Because they don't know what stealth **means**!)

Back at the lame…thing..i call a plot…

"Thank you for waiting" the waitress said nervously. Placing the two Gekota muffins on the table were our 'heroines' sat before leaving as fast as she could.

"This muffin has such an interesting design, well without any delay-"

"HEY, WAIT A SECOND KONGOU-SAN!" a certain level 5 cried, stopping her friend from eating the 'muffin'

"Yes?" the girl asked, confused

"The squid ring inside counts as a lottery ticket, you have to take it out before you eat! Otherwise it won't count," the girl replied, taking out the 'squid ring' from her muffin and stuffing said 'muffin' into her mouth

_You really do act like a child…_ Mitsuko thought as she watched her 'idol' struggle to chew the treat in its entirety. Sighing, she followed suit, but took her time and slowly ate her 'muffin' as opposed to chugging it down like a sugar deprived fat man,

Or a certain magical index…

The treat was actually quite good. However, Mitsuko was interrupted by a certain inpatient scientific railgun

"Dome zez's go do gig gegota!" the girl cried (translation: come on, let's go win Gekota! (A: I don't think it says that… B: well nobody asked you!)) However a certain voice caught her attention.

"Can you please refrain from staining the honor of Tokiwadai's name through your actions~" the voice asked

"That voice… that annoying voice following me around!" Mikoto muttered "it's got to be, Shokuhou Misaki! She cried, pointing an accusing finger at the girl, who seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"You guessed right!" the girl said, striking a pose and completely ignoring the fact that the railgun called her annoying

"What business do you have with me here!" she cried, preparing herself for a battle however what she saw shocked her.

As for Mitsuko…she was still eating, and kind of confused as to what was going on around her

"Isn't that obvious Misaka-san?" The Queen asked in a playful tone as several girls, each wearing a Tokiwadai uniform, began to gather around her "I came to make your life miserable…"

_As danger begins to loom over our heroes, someone else is making their move… can Misaka Mikoto survive what her self-proclaimed rival Shokuhou Misaki has planned?_

_Find out next time on Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!_

**Shinnypichu88's Author's note: well what do you think? I'll try completing this story as fast as possible. And if you haven't noticed it's based on a certain Doujinshi I read a couple of days ago. Well hope you enjoy!**

**also, the real villan will BLOW YOUR MIND.**

**this will hopefully be 10 chapters long, give or take...**

**And if there are any mistakes I'll fix them when I'm done. **

**So I won't lose the idea, R&R :D**


	3. Chapter Two: The Lottery of Death 2

******Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter Two: The Lottery of Death 2**

"Isn't that obvious Misaka-san?" The Queen asked in a playful tone as several girls, each wearing a Tokiwadai uniform, began to gather around her "I came to make your life miserable…"

"w..what?"

"Have a look~" the queen said as she opened her purse, revealing several squid rings, shocking the two friends "if each member of the group to get a squid ring for the lottery, it adds up to this unbeatable amount," she said showing the girls the squid rings that filled her bag

"Why did you put them inside a bag…" Mikoto asked giving her a blank stare

"that doesn't matter," the girl replied "this way the special Gekota will be mine, the wretched squid smell coming from my bag simply resembles my grudge for you Misaka-san~"

"No the smell probably resembles your intelligence…" the girl replied but the Mental Out user either didn't hear her or chose to ignored her because she sent off one of her followers to turn in the first squid ring

_Although this is bad, if she turns in all those squid rings she's sure to get the special Gekota…I need to hurry an—_were Misaka's thoughts until she heard the disappointed cry of one of misaki's followers

"The first was a miss my queen…" the girl cried holding up the raffle ticket that read _loss _

"Don't worry, the first person to draw is always guaranteed to lose, with my luck and the sheer number of squid rings in my possession we shall obtain the item that Misaka-san is looking for right in front of her!" Misaki cried "and my grudge will be satisfied for the day!"

"A grudge isn't some sort of thing you know…" Misaka replied before realization hit her "and like hell we'd let you!"

Meanwhile a certain someone was doing their own thing…

_It seems like I'm being followed, but I can't tell the culprits exact location…, _the thing muttered looking around, unknown to it however, the 'culprit was standing right next to it.

_It doesn't matter, with my power not even the Image Breaker will be a threat, now then were is she…,_the thing thought as he followed the only lead to his target _even though the boy has her sent, she hasn't shown up yet… but soon I'm sure of it!_

While the thing was following the two, the two were having their own conversation

"Look at this! Look at this!, Misaka cries while Misaka waves the flyer in accelerators face like an annoying car salesmen!"

"What is it you shitty brat?" the albino replied taking a look at the flyer, the flyer advertised a certain figure being awarded to the lucky winner at a certain café and for some reason Accelerator felt Dred just by looking at it but after seeing the small Misaka's face, he decided to just fuck it and go with it "so you want the fucking frog? Fine! But were not getting ice cream if I have to buy fucking muffins, those things are expensive…"

"Ah you're stingy, Misaka complains while Misaka is secretly excited because Misaka didn't really want ice cream to begin with" the small clone cried with joy

"Shitty brat…" the albino muttered, as the two friends made their way to a certain café, the thing following them all the way.

Back at the sad excuse for a plot, we see The Queen of Tokiwada sitting in a corner, obviously overcome by disbelief, shock, and depression.

"There's a limit to the number of times you can lose…" the broken girl muttered, as her two "opponents" remained flabbergasted

Mikoto was the first to regain her composure, and without giving the well-endowed girl a second thought, attempted to finally gain her prize, _she has a point, there is a limit to the number of times one could lose! And now thanks to her the number of losing tickets has decreased, the situation has changed for the better! _The girl thought, _even Misaka-san has to win every once in a while and it looks like today's the day! _Were the Railguns final thoughts as she headed to her destiny!

"Time to refill the Getoka lottery~" the cashier sang, obvious to the pain she was inflicting to a certain level 5.

"Ah, don't worry Misaka-san, there has to be a winning ticket this time!" Mitsuko said, hoping to reassure her idol, who was now at the brink of tears.

However, the two were soon brought back to reality, and left the café. Coincidently leaving as a certain level 5 and a certain clone came in.

And as for Shokuhou Misaki, well she was eventually found by the dorm mistress and returned to whence she came. After a few neck cracks that is…

But this story is **FAR** from over.

"So in the end we couldn't get the figure after all, and I was so sure I'd win today to…" the railgun Said

"Sorry that I wasn't much help" Mitsuko muttered

"Its fine, today was fun anyway wasn't it?" Mikoto said

Mitsuko smiled before replying, "Your right, it was pretty fun!"

But before the girls could get any further in their conversation, a certain devi- I mean clone decided that the rest of the world needed to know of her accomplishment

"I got the pretty frog on the first try! Misaka says as Misaka tries to appeal with her smile!" the girl cried showing the boy known as accelerator her prize

"Ha! It looks so stupid," the boy replied as he took a look at the silver haired blue hospital gown wearing Gekota, they personified a frog, which was stupid in his option.

"WHAT!?" the elite students of Tokiwada cried in complete and utter shock, suddenly, overcome with desire Mikoto lunged at the girl that was technically her clone and cried

"Wait! You, child over there!" was the only warning Last Order received before she noticed an older version of herself pounce toward her like a tiger does its prey

"SHOW IT TO ME!" the girl cried as Last Order let out a terrified shriek.

The incident later ended without any problems, Mikoto was taken by Anti-Skill before being able to admire the Gekota figure and Last Order had only suffered a little trauma that would haunt her in her deepest nightmares (which was surprising, considering the things she'd been through) Accelerator, who just stood while the entire thing went on, probably due to the fact that he had witnessed the last thing he'd expected happen right before him, finally came back to reality just in time to see the third ranked level 5 get hauled away by Anti-Skill.

"That was surprising…" were the only words the boy said as the Anti-Skill van drove off, followed by a certain level 4. After about a minute of imitating a deer caught in the headlights, accelerator pulled last order off his face and set her down on the ground before heading home, the girl followed after returning to her senses several seconds latter

"Wait for me!" she cried, however it seemed like everyone just wanted to fuck with her today as the girl heard another insane cry from her left

"ALEISTER!" the voice roared as it lunged at Last Order, only to be shot in the face.

"Who the hell are you?" the albino asked as he activated his collar. Only to realize he didn't need to, as he shot the thing in the face, and turned it off.

That was his first mistake.

Accelerator would awaken several hours later, to a crying Last Order and a mocking WORST only to discover he's been defeated…

By a squirrel…

And our favorite vampire slayer would only be mentioned as the one who treated his wounds after the squirrel had stolen Last Orders Gekota and fled. Not even getting a cameo appearance.

Such is the life of Himegami Aisa, self-proclaimed magical girl.

_A Squirrel has defeated what is basically the most powerful man on earth! our beloved Railgun has been arrested and our magical girl is ignored._

_next time, Magic and Science unite to face a common enemy and accelerator learns what humiliation truly is _

_all that and more on Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!_

**Shinnypichu88's Authors Note: what do you think? funny or bunny? the next chapter will be the "thrilling" aftermath of Accelerators ****humiliation, and the unlikely alliance between SCIENCE and MAGIC as they fight a glorious battle for a common cause. and like always, i'll fix the mistakes later**


	4. Chapter Three: A Nun On A Railgun!

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter Three: A Nun On A Railgun!**

Eventually Anti-Skill had released the young Level 5, but that much was obvious (seeing as she could easily escape if she wanted to) and they had even gotten a good laugh when her dorm's supervisor had come to pick the girl up and swiftly snap her neck and drag her corpse to the car.

She awoke the next day, apologized to Mitsuko, and cleaned the dormitory's bathrooms with the only other level 5 in Tokiwadai. As was her "punishment" for "assaulting" a ten year old.

Mikoto had showered and taken off in search of something to do. She noticed that Kuroko was missing but assumed it was probably due to Judgment work and ignored it, while wandering the streets aimlessly she noticed a flyer on the window of a certain ramen shop and let out a squeal, but quickly covered it up before anyone could notice (unknown to her, EVERYONE around her noticed) the flyer was announcing a ramen eating contest with the grand prize being a special Ramen Gekota! Hoping to make up for her lost the last time. Mikoto marched into the restaurant, fully confident in her ability to eat all the ramen.

Meanwhile a certain Accelerator was having his own set of problems…

As of now, he had stopped trying to wrap his mind on exactly how a squirrel had defeated him and decided to just hunt it down and kill it with as much explosive things he could find. But there were two problems,

The first was, all squirrels looked the same, while that squirrel may have looked different Last Order wouldn't be any help in identifying it, as she was still being depressed. But at this point it was more over her lost toy than him.

The second was, he had no idea where to start looking, and he refused to go back to the café.

So he was stuck on standby till Last Order could calm down enough to give him a description. It didn't help that WORST was still mocking him about losing to a squirrel.

But if the fucking brat didn't calm down soon, he'd go out there and kill all the squirrels he saw, PETA be dammed!

Back at the plot, our hero Misaka Mikoto was currently locked in a bathroom, emptying out her stomach due to the sheer amount of ramen she had consumed. Afterward she left the restaurant. Angry because she lost, embarrassed because she had threw up, and ashamed because she had been forced to pay for all the ramen she had eaten (and then…"un-eaten"). But she refused to let that get the better of her! She'd go back to the ramen stand and try again! However upon seeing a bowl of ramen, the girl felt sick to her stomach.

"It pisses me off!" the girl mumbled to herself, she decided to head to a certain vending machine to relive some stress, but it seemed like fate had other plans.

In the form of a nun who looked like she was trying to bite through metal.

"What are you doing?" the brown haired girl asked, giving the nun a blank look. The girl in question noticed her presence and cried out "ah short hair! What are you doing here?"

"I asked you first, and my names misaka mikoto!" Mikoto replied, the nun gestured at the cleaning bot, which she was currently attempting to strangle and responded "this thing stole my doughnut and I'm trying to get it back!"

"Why would you want a doughnut that fell on the floor…" the girl respond knowing full well that the robots only consumed things that hit the floor before remembering the girls eating ability "that doesn't matter, come with me!" she asked grabbing the nun by the arm and hauling her along.

"Wait my doughnut!" the girl cried as she was pulled away from the "evil" robot by her "rival"

Eventually both girls had calmed down enough for Mikoto to calmly explain the situation, and Index didn't mind, it was food after all. Besides, Touma hadn't fed her all day he wasn't even home when she woke up.

Also for reasons yet unknown, Touma was missing.

Alas, both girls made their way to the restaurant one was fully determined to obtain Gekota while the other was fully determined to obtain food.

The unholy alliance had been formed.

Meanwhile, another individual was facing his own crises…

**=D=** "you're not serious are you…"

**D** "I'm dead serious Kamijou Touma,"

**D:** "do you honestly expect me to believe that a squirrel could do that!"

**O-O** "…"

**:(** "…"

"yes?"

**ToT** "I'm hanging up."

"Kamijou I'm serious! The things a monster with powers beyond our level of understanding, had he been anywhere on the battlefield in world war 3 he could of dominated it in less than a minute!"

"Look Stiyl, it's not that what you're saying doesn't sound like complete and utter bullshit, well that's exactly what it sounds like, but I'm actually really busy at the moment!"

"What can be more important than saving the world from an evil _killer death squirrel_?!"

"Well…"

Suddenly the magician heard a very flirty voice on the other line.

"Kamijou-chwan~ cum out and play~"

Stiyl blinked

"With my body~"

Stiyl's eyes widen at what the mysterious (and oddly arousing) voice had said before shouting angry yet colorful words meant for the boy on the other line of the phone, however the boy had quickly hung upon fear that he would be found. The words Stiyl used however would make a certain Accelerator and Tayuya so motivated, moved and enlightened that they would of hooked up and created an entire army of evil little monsters from scratch.

Luckily, that didn't happen.

Mostly…

"Hey fucker, what was that you said about an all-powerful squirrel?"

**Shinnypichu88's Author's note: well what do you think? good bad or so stupid that it made you die? next chapter the unholy alliance attempts to save a "princess" from a (possibly homosexual) man. Accelerator joins Stiyl on his journey to defeat a certain squirrel, and Touma gets involved in something that was clearly misunderstood.**

**also heres an omake based on what i saw from a few fans on fanfiction and 4chan!**

Omake: The Toaru Fandom!

Index: I DON'T EXISTS!

Touma: I'M NOT DENSE!

Misaki: I'M AN INNOCENT MISUNDERSTOOD GIRL AND CLEARLY NOT A TOTAL TEASE WHO LOVES TO TORMENT A CERTAIN ELECTRO MASTER AND ANYONE ELSE WHO SHE SEES AS ANY SORT OF FRIEND!

I AM ALSO IN PERFECT SHAPE!

Mikoto: I AM A WEAK MINDED GIRL THAT CAN NEVER BE INDEPENDENT, OTHER TIMES I'M A TOTAL RAMPAGING BITCH THAT SHOOTS LIGHTNING CAPABLE OF KILLING PEOPLE FOR FUN, AND AT OTHER TIMES I ACT LIKE A SPOILED FIVE YEAR OLD!

I HAVE NO SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY AND REFUSE TO KILL PEOPLE WITH MY POWERS!

Kuroko: I'M A PSYCHOTIC LESBO WHO DOESN'T EVEN DO HER OWN JOB RIGHT

"wait, aren't you a psychotic lesbo?"

"crazy and psychotic aren't the same thing you foolish little boy."

"okay..."

GUNHA: GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!

**what was the point of this? **

**nothing really, i just wanted to send a message by over exaggerating traits characters are believed to have.**

**heres a fun game, try and find out what character isn't changed, the answers obvious but still...**

**also, i know not many people like Kamiko but the fact is that it's popular and mikoto's a popular character.**

**theres also the fact that the MAJORITY of Toaru fanfic writers ship that, sure there are a few stories like Had Circumstances Been Different, possibly A Certain World of Darkness (so i havn't read it yet, i 'm waiting for it to finish before i do, i hate cliff hangers okay, they make me ancious...) and What Once Was that feature different heroines (and possibly more, but you can find them on your own!) also, bashing a character won't make less stories of her come out. in fact it may even start a flame war...  
**

**and we don't want that now do we, it'll make us the same as Digimon, Shugo Chara, or Avatar The Last Airbender.**

**and we REALLY don't want that.**

**So i think we should all just relax, if you want a story that's not kamiko doesn't have parings, or doesn't feature mikoto at all...then you can be patient (or keep reading _Attack Of The Killer Death Squirrel_, this story won't have parings! (due to the fact that i don't think i can pull it off, and it's suppose to be a comedy)) or you can write one yourself. or maybe JUST maybe some author will offer up a challenge with the prize beingthat they will write a story for a fanfiction reader :D**

**Maybe...**

**Besides, maybe when Index 3 is out we'll see more I****tsuwa stories (they say she's not a virgin, but it's most likely a troll...like the whole Last Order and Worst's feelings for Accelerator are fake thing...) and hopefully we'll stay a bash free community, wouldn't that be great?**

******well, Read and Review, sorry for the long note and slow update...schools been tough.**

******I'll also fix what ever mistakes i or you happen to find, till next time!**


	5. Chapter Four: A Nun On A Railgun 2!

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter Four: A Nun On A Railgun 2!**

Kamijou Touma had always considered himself an unlucky boy. From what happened to him on a regular basis to what was happening now, he couldn't help but wonder what he had done in a previous life to deserve this.

Maybe he was Hitler?

Alas, that didn't matter now, while the misfortune he suffered on a daily basis was bad, it was life with the people he called friends. (Even if most of them were woman) but this…

This was just ridiculous!

"Kamijou-chwan~ if you don't come out I'll have to kill little kamijou~"

Oh god, what had he done to deserve this now he was about to lose his manhood too, this was just too messed up!

Wait now that he thought about it…

As if berating himself for his sheer stupidity at the moment, he punched himself in the groin with his right hand, and after feeling the intense pain cried, not only did he cry tears of pain but also tears of joy.

"ah, found you~"

Ah, and just like that he was dead, such misfortune.

But just as the woman he thought of as a pedophile rapist (he WAS 16 after all) was about to pounce on his hunched over form (hey, he kicked himself in the groin to get his manhood back with the image breaker. what did you expect, For the pain to just go away?!) The pedophile rapist froze her eyes focusing solely on the figure in front of her.

"y-you but it can't be?!"

Meanwhile, deep within our red haired friend was having his own kind of dilemma.

The mission seemed simple at first, go to academy city and retrieve the squirrel, preferably dead. The arch bishop even joined him! But the second they entered the city, the entire thing just fell apart.

Laura had vanished like she was never there to begin with and the only person stiyl had left to turn too was probably getting some as he spoke. The bastard, he was even living with index and doing these sorts of things, he'd kill him.

But now there was a new problem, in the form of a certain white haired boy who practically screamed DANGER, RUN AWAY and demanded any information he had on the squirrel. In the end, they decided it was best to work together, if Stiyl was lucky, he'd be able to finish his mission and convince this guy to help him kill Kamijou along the way.

Accelerator was furious! After getting tired of Worsts bitching and Last Orders crying he had stormed out of the apartment he shared with woman and killed every squirrel he could find then he happened to overhear some foreigner arguing with bastard who seemed to be getting some over the phone and realized that the foreigner knew about the squirrel. In the end it came down to the two finding the monstrosity together and in return for his help accelerator would kill the guy the foreigner was talking too.

He wouldn't of course, but what the hell he needed his revenge.

While this was going on, the unholy alliance was doing their own thing.

"She's already eaten thirty nine bowls"

"Impossible, look how skinny she is!"

"She seems to be too much of a glutton for a nun…"

"The real question is, is she REALLY a nun?"

"Maybe she'll manage to beat Princess Ramen?!"

"Impossible!"

"I've been meaning to ask about that, why's that guy called princess?"

"I don't know…"

Laura Stewart was enjoying herself. But why shouldn't she? She had finally cornered her mortal enemy (number 678) in Academy City and would finally rid the world of his presence! Sure there were the obvious flaws in her plan…like using Index as bait, or the fact that she was using Academy City as a battleground, but those were just minor details. Deep down, she knew Aliester wanted it gone too.

"It's an annoyance" he had once said and Laura agreed.

Then she passed a certain restaurant and backtracked. The descriptions she heard sounded a lot like…

"I'm full…" the nun wailed as she collapsed, already on her fortyish bowl, mikoto gasped and looked over at their opponent. Who was already beginning to catch up.

The opponent in question was ridiculous he was obviously obese, was wearing a pair of speedows and swimming goggles. But he was a worthy opponent.

And if they lost…mikoto could actually go broke!?

The bastard had raised the price of ramen to a thousand a bowl and her pride had made her agree to the challenge.

There was a word for this…

"foolish little nun, you thought you could defeat me, HA!" the man mocked "go back to whatever "church" you came from and get molested by your stupid priests and other members of authority!"

Index twitched this fat man was insulting all that she stood for!

"Stop confusing us for Catholics!" the girl managed to mutter out

"There the same thing!"

"No there not, one shouldn't say bad things about the church Jesus died for your sins remember!"

"I'm a scientologist, I only believe in the truth! And that is science!"

Index's face darkened, her fragile all but disappeared and was replaced with determination.

"BRING IT ON YOU PIECE OF FAT SHIT!"

And so, it was brought and Laura only watched in amazement as Index literally gobbled down every bowl that was given to her, in a matter of minutes she had consumed enough food, HUMAN FOOD to feed the entire church for a year. But Laura shook her head maybe she should have done a better job at teaching index how to communicate with others…

Ah well, too late now.

It seemed like the contest was ending but something caught Lauras eye.

…

Mikoto was feeling ecstatic, she had won the Gekota! Nothing could ruin this moment (sure she now had to PAY for the nuns food, but it didn't matter she was sure she had more than enough.)

The man sat in a puddle of his own vomit, having lost the fight by only consuming around 96 bowls. He was broken, beaten, and humiliated (like wearing nothing but a speedow wasn't humiliating enough)

It reminded him of a story, about a beautiful blond princess that turned an ugly little boy into a handsome prince.

"I shall avenge my shattered pride young one." He muttered, his voice cold and laced with killing intent.

"Nobody cares faggot." The nun replied, which was extremely out of character for her.

Suddenly a pair of armed soldiers broke through the crowd and pointed their weapons at the fat man.

"Don't more Max, it's over we found you and it's time to go back in the over."

The fat man, now known as max, sighed. It was over…all because of that nun and her damn girl friend! (Meaning actual friend who happens to be a girl, just in case the space didn't clarify that) suddenly something caught his eyes.

It was a dream come true, it was the princess from the story!

It took the soldiers three seconds to figure out what he was planning, it took his two seconds to grab the Gekota from the distracted Railgun and it took him one second to plow through the crowd and grab the "princess".

To this day, no one could explain HOW that had happened.

But the result was the same in the end Max had outsmarted them all.

…

"Why."

The girl stood their bewildered by the randomness of that statement, what did she mean why?

"Why does this come as a shock to you? I've literally been following you the entire time."

"Wait WHAT?! Then why didn't you show up sooner!"

"ah Kamijou-san, I like to make grand entrances!"

Suddenly the girl remembered Mikoto's words _"aren't you just out of shape?" _

Yes, incase nobody realized it yet, this girl was the one and only lovable tease who's power rivaled that of Laura Stewart (in teaseness at least) Shokuhou Misaki!

**Shinnypichu88's Authors note: here's another chapter, like always I'll fix any mistakes at the end. Read and review!**

**Because the plots getting cereal!**

**Till next time!**


	6. Chapter Five: The Plot Starts To Move!

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter Five: The Plot Starts To Move!**

"Go drown yourself in a river" was all the metal out user said as she pointed her remote at the pedophile rapist, the girl obeyed, but why wouldn't she? The only people with complete immunity to misaki's power were misaka, accelerator and touma to some extent (The rest of the level 5's were also likely to be immune to it, but that wasn't important)

The boy who possessed the image breaker looked up at his savior with a mixture of annoyance and confusion, annoyance because of what she had said earlier and confusion as to why she was here. Luckily his questions were answered.

"kamijou-san, what did you do to get yourself into this sort of mess?" the girl asked, genially concerned for the boys wellbeing and slightly curious as to how he of all people ended up with someone trying to rape him (at least it appeared that way, misaki already knew the reason thanks to her metal out, but it didn't hurt to ask)

"How the hell should I know?!"

…

It had taken Laura a while to figure out what happened. Once she did however, she had simply used some magic to free herself from the fat man's grasp and like a boss.

Beat the ever loving crap out of him.

After than she had erased everyone's memories, she didn't need this going public after all, but much to her chagrin the smell of vomit would not leave her cloths. Luckily she spotted the only two members of the unholy alliance in the crowd (who weren't affected by the mind altering spell, 1 thanks to her powers and another thanks to her luck…and hat) and dragged them off to help her get rid of the horrible smelling cloths.

Much to their confusion.

…

"Kid killing every squirrel you see won't make the one were looking for show up, in fact it may even make him more cautious."

"And why the fuck should I care?"

"Because if he's more cautious he'll be more careful and we'll never find him."

With that answer accelerator reluctantly let go of the terrified woodland critter, which proceeded to run as fast as it could from what it would always remember as the white demon. Turning to Stiyl, accelerator asked "how about you stop the bullshit and just tell me what this squirrel really is?"

The man seemed to consider it, and sighed. "Fine, it was about twenty years ago before I was even around"

"Wait, what the fuck do you mean _before I was even around_?"

"I'm only fourteen"

"Bullshit!"

"Do you want to know about the squirrels past or not?"

"Fuck no I just want to kill it till it dies!"

Needless to say, this conversation went on for another ten minutes…

…

Himegami Aisa sometimes wondered what her purpose was. Her power was a joke and her friends always forgot about her.

Even the author of this fanfiction had replaced her with a blond haired woman who was more popular than her!

And as if answering her wishes, Himegami Aisa tripped and stumbled down a hill.

…

"Ah this is way better than doing my own job!"

"Why am I the one buying…"

"Arch-Bishop, can you please stop playing dress up and tell us why your here!"

The three girls found themselves in a clothing store, one which mikoto found to be annoying. However the only one who seemed to be doing anything was the blond the chibi-nun seemed to know.

Why she was the one buying her a new set of cloths she'd never know.

After about twenty minutes of trying on cloths (and having them rejected by the two flustered girls) she had settled for an average blouse.

And for the first time in her life, mikoto had realized she had found an even bigger pervert than her roommate…

"ONEE-SAMA!"

The cry was halted by a metal mailbox hitting the girl and landing her in a lake where she didn't resurface.

Mikoto took that back, Kuroko was most definitely the bigger perv.

But unknown to the three girls, they were being watched and no not by a certain magician, but something much more dangerous.

…

The squirrel wasn't always bad, he was just misunderstood.

It had all started when he first met index, the meeting was uneventful.

She had given him a cookie, and they had become friends.

But then her memories were whipped and he lost everything.

All because of her.

Before meeting index he was a family man, most of the food she gave him went to feeding his children, and then out of nowhere index had killed his entire family.

So he had sworn revenge, later on he had concluded that Index wasn't alone and she had accomplices, their names were Laura Stuart and Aleister Crowley.

After getting over the loss of his family, he decided it would be best to avenge their deaths and learned magic. Afterword, he began to make his move.

First he stole the Blasting Rod right under Aleisters nose. Next he had given most of the members of Necessarius rabies, and finally he had tracked down Index and gotten rid of her only protection.

To make his plans more likely to work, he had defeated the strongest esper in the city and stole his masters mind control device.

Now all that was left was to kill index.

Laura was nowhere in sight and the only difficulty he would face would be the railgun, nothing the Blasting Rod couldn't handle so, confident in his chances of victory, made his move…

The poor delusional fool.

…

A girl floated on a lake motionless, as if she had drowned, however she wasn't important.

What was important was the girl under the lake…

The girl named Shirai Kuroko, who sensed the squirrel seconds before he made his move and appeared above the poor thing right before it had a chance to come out of hiding and chucked the mailbox her beloved one-sama had practically thrown at her at it.

The squirrel dodged and berated himself for failing to notice her presence until the last minute.

"Who are you,"

"That is none of your concern child!"

"I guess you're right, I'll find out who you are when I arrest you"

"Arrest me?"

"That's right, I'm from Judgement-desu no!"

"Aw how adorable it's too bad you're going to die."

The two stared each other down, ignoring the fact that Kuroko was taller than the small critter. They weren't concerned about appetences right now they were only concerned about one thing. Protecting what was important to them!

For Kuroko, her onee-sama

For the squirrel, his revenge

And so, the battle had begun!


	7. Chapter Six: Kuroko VS The Killer Death

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter Six: Kuroko VS. The Killer Death Squirrel!**

Kuroko had teleported as fat as she could to avoid what she believed to be an esper striking her with a ridiculous looking stick. Then she realized that she didn't need to as the small creature could barely balance the thing let alone use it as a mace.

So she did what anyone would do if they were in a similar situation.

She kicked it.

And the squirrel fell into the trees bellow.

"Dammit, the girl is smarter than all my other previous opponents, I need to get serious" the squirrel muttered as he picked himself off the ground, somehow surviving a fall from a five story building. The Blasting Rod had filled a few feet away and at this rate he would be unable to use it.

He looked up at the sky and smirked, he'd wanted to try this for a while now.

"_Critters of the world I call on you, lend me your strength, your power, be my tools_!" he cried as Kuroko appeared above him, her spikes already out and aiming for his eyes.

Suddenly he vanished.

"What?" was all Kuroko had time to say as she was violently thrown against a tree.

…

Deep within the windowless building Aleister chuckled, what a wonderful idea it had been. If he had known how fun fucking with people was he would have done it sooner.

He watched as the young teleporter teleported away in an attempt to avoid getting hit by the Blasting Rod, not that the squirrel could use it, all it was doing was using it as a mace.

"Ah, what a fine way to spend my day off," the man muttered to himself

…

"_So my guess was right,"_ Kuroko thought as she narrowly managed to get away from the huge mace the esper was using.

She had assumed this person was an esper with shape shifting powers, her point was backed by the fact that he had grown in size after vanishing. He still had his little squirrel head, but to anyone else it would look like he merged with other squirrels to get a humanoid shape. But at the level he was using his so-called power would make him a level 5 at least. Could this person be the mysterious 6th level 5 esper?!

Her thoughts were cut short however as the squirrel suddenly grabbed her by the neck mid teleportation, rushed out of their current battleground and smashed her into a car. Effectively downing the poor girl. However just as he was about to finish her off, someone hurled a bus at him.

…

The unholy alliance (aka misaka and index) had been left on their own after Laura had pulled a disappearing act on them, normally they would have tried to find her, but something more important caught their attention.

That is, they hadn't found the special ramen Getoka the fat man stole, he had taken it with him when he kidnapped the blond/arch bishop but he had vanished just as quickly.

And Mikoto really didn't want to pay for the nuns food if she lost her prize.

So, after grabbing lunch (hotdogs to be precise) the two made their way back to the ramen shop, hoping to find it somewhere on the ground.

…

Accelerator couldn't believe his luck, he was just minding his own business, trying not to kill the (apparently 14 year old) foreigner and look for the squirrel that ruined his day.

When suddenly, the monstrosity smashed into a car right in front of him, not wanting to miss his chance, he quickly hurled a parked bus at the beast, unknowingly saving a certain teleporter from a very gruesome death. It didn't really matter to him that the only one in the bus was some blond that reminded him of that blue haired nun.

Stiyl on the other hand, looked absolutely horrified.

…

"So that…woman…was sent to kill me?"

"That's right"

"By an esper with squirrel powers?"

"No, no, no, by a talking squirrel with magical powers"

"Right…while I would normally not believe what you were saying, I've dealt with so much crap recently that I would believe just about anything"

"Really!"

"Yah…"

"so if I told you that there was a gigantic pink haired dinosaur with fairy wings made of cake breathing ramen out of its ass behind you, you'd believe me?"

"…"

+v+ "…"

"now that's just silly," Touma said shaking his head

But he turned around just to be safe and sure enough, there it was.

…

Laura shook her head, that was quite a ride, people these days were just so rude. Back in her days someone would give some long dramatic speech before throwing things at others, now they skipped the entire process just to throw things!

If she wasn't a powerful magician, that may have been dangerous…

But she was a powerful magician, so it was fine….and seeing Stiyl's expression was priceless.

So, with all her remaining dignity, she exited the burning bus and came face to face with a scrawny albino who looked like a poor brain dead puppy.

…

The squirrel shook his head, that boy again! Hadn't he learned his lesson yet, as iff dealing with an insect he entered what he dubbed as _the zone _and deactivated the boy's collar much like he had the last time before tossing him toward another troublesome person.

Most of his comrades were killed in the impact, but that didn't matter all he needed to do was recast the spell and he'd be fine.

"_Critters of the world I call on you, lend me your strength, your power, be my tools_!"

"_And help rid me of these pests so that I may achieve my destiny!"_

And so, much like what kuroko had experienced, the squirrel vanished before Stiyls eyes.

And in its place stood an enormous pink haired dinosaur with fairy wings made of cake, and as if wanting to finish the fight as quickly as possible released an enormous amount of ramen from its butt.

Stiyl never stood a chance.

…

People gaped in horror as a monstrosity that had never been seen before began to grow bigger and bigger. People nearby fled from the river of ramen in vain. And as it looked over the city it would soon engulf in ramen, the Killer Death Squirrel noticed something, or rather someone.

And then all hell broke loose.

All the while, Aleister Crowley laughed, a long and joyous laugh, one that hadn't been heard for hundreds of years.

**Shinnypichu88'ss authors note: and so the story is reaching its climax! what happened to our heroes, what is Toumas reaction? and what will become of the unholy alliance?**

**all that and more next time!**

**also, a VERY special guest will soon arrive on the battlefield, but their identity should be obvious.**

**read and review!**


	8. Chapter Seven: The Killer Death Squirrel

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter Seven: The Killer Death Squirrel's Tragic Past! **

If it hadn't been for her powers, Mikoto would have never seen it coming. But she did, and as soon as she did she had roughly grabbed the nun and used her Electromagnetism to run up the closest building, barley avoiding the ramen that struck several other students.

One of which was Saten Ruiko with a bat, but nobody cared about that (she had plot armor protecting her after all, so she'd be fine)

"What?!" the nun cried, surprised then shocked by the sheer amount of ramen that had consumed everyone but her and short hair. However, her surprises weren't over yet and as mikoto ran from building to building, Index saw something she'd never thought she'd see.

"What is that thing!?" she cried pointing at the gigantic pink haired dinosaur with fairy wings made of cake.

"How should I know" Mikoto cried as she ran faster

…

Meanwhile, standing on the top of a school gymnasium a lone figure looked at the scene before him with marveled interest.

"It takes a lot of guts to appear out of thin air and try to flood the city with anal ramen."

With that, the figure vanished.

…

_He could remember it as if it were yesterday, he was just returning home after a long day of work (gathering food for his family was his job, it was his responsibility as a parent after all) and was greeted by his loving family then he noticed a group of people taking Index into a gigantic building, what he found odd was that she was bounded, gagged, and blindfolded. But alas, curiosity got the better of him and he followed her._

_That proved to be a mistake and after being knocked unconscious by a bright light he awoke in a dark room. He didn't know how long he'd been their but he knew it had been a long time. So he left and began to make his way home. Only to discover, much to his horror, that his home was left in ashes! His wife and many, many children were nothing but ash and standing before their bodies was a blond haired woman who looked very much like index. Talking to a man from a strange mirror, but it didn't matter to him all he saw was red._

_And as he charged at the woman, who immediately noticed his presence and kicked him away he realized the cold hard truth. Index had betrayed him she had tricked him into following her while this blond devil had burned his family alive!_

_He was enraged, so enraged in fact that he had used a power which would of previously been imposable. Surprising the she devil, but before he could strike her down with his new found strength, some red haired chibi had kicked him away. Causing him to land in a garbage truck and nearly die via being smashed to death._

_When he was finally able to escape his confinement he decided to discover more about his power and just as he was about to give up hope, met with a spirit._

_The stupid looking spirit with the creepy arm told him many things, one of which was about his family, and the truth behind the attack._

_So he had a new mission._

_He'd kill Index for assisting in the plot to kill his family_

_He'd kill that blond she devil for killing his family_

_And he'd kill Aleister Crowleyfor sending them to do his evil bidding._

_After he learned all he could from the man who he referred to as, creepy arm guy, he began his assault on the place they called St. George's Cathedral and bite everyone who got in his way, however much to his horror Index was nowhere to be found!_

_He eventually ran into a taller woman and demanded the location of Index so that he could avenge his family! However the woman used some sort of string magic and tried to cut him to pieces._

_He lost some valuable squirrels that day._

_After he recovered, he decided to plan. After that experience he knew that a frontal assault was out of the question, so he tried to contact his master again with no such luck. And then he came across something worth gold!_

_It was a place called Academy City, but the city itself didn't interest him, no, it was who was at the city that did!_

_He had finally found Index!_

_He was lucky enough to even come across the information to be honest it just fell from the sky! It even told him who the strongest people were and how to amplify his powers with something called the Blasting Rod!_

_So he made his way to the city and the first thing he did when getting there was break in to Aliesters house on the outskirts of the city and cleverly steal the Blasting Rod from right under his nose! Then he headed into the city and began his next plan, he used his magic and was able to come across several machine parts. After following the directions on the slip of paper he had build his ultimate weapon! _

_After that he had captured look alike humans, or clones of aliesters warrior of thunder in hopes of using them to defeat his strongest warrior._

_And defeat him he did, using the link he established he cut off the boys connection to the network (as the paper called it) and defeated him with his squirrel punch. Afterword he had stolen the little girls toy just because he needed something to practice on, it was an Aliester doll after all! _

_Then he began planning on how to kill Index, he had finally tracked her down and he'd be dammed if he lost her again, so he purchased something these people called a hooker to go after her protector while he killed the girl._

_He finally found them when the she devil showed herself, but then she just vanished!_

_Luckily she wasn't important for now, only Index mattered and just as he was about to use the network on Aliesters warrior of thunder, who he later found out was named Railgun, he was attacked by an assassin! Probably another of Aliesters goons but thanks to his power, he defeated her easily._

_But that's when things became complicated, and after seeing that he had to engage in a three-way battle, disconnected Aliesters strongest from the network and used him as a distraction as he transformed._

_And transform he did!_

_But then he saw her, Index!_

_And he struck using his Ramen Flood attack, only for Railgun to save her at the last minute and use her magical powers to walk on walls._

_But he wouldn't let them get away, even if it meant involving innocent bystanders!_

…

"Now that's rather interesting…" Misaki muttered as she took in what she had seen

"What?"

"That monster is trying to kill Misaka-san and a little nun girl"

"What?!"

+D+ "That's right, there trying to get away from him as we speak"

The two were currently on a boat, gently drifting on the "ramen water" that flooded the streets. While some people did try to steal it from them, Misaki had simply used her Metal Out powers and told them to go chug on some ramen, she didn't really have time to worry about minor threats like them after all.

And speak of the devil, another one made their way on to the boat, but just as Misaki was about to use her powers to have him drown himself in ramen, Touma stopped her.

"Stiyl, Shirai-san, Accelerator?" he asked as he noticed the read head carrying both unconscious teens on board "what happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened, you didn't help me deal with this sooner and it went out of control just because you wanted to get laid, but now I found you and I will kill you!"

"How is this my fault, I was being assaulted!"

"Lies!" Stiyl yelled pulling out his cards, however his body froze and Misaki began to speak

"This is much easier than explaining things," she muttered pointing her remote to all those present to do the explaining for her.

Just as stiyl was going to ask her what she did, another voice stopped him.

"Well that certainly is a stupid reason for wanting to kill us all"

It was the Arch-Bishop, in all her ramen covered glory!

**Shinnypichu88's Author's note: what did you think? Good or bad?**

**Also anyone read the new railgun! Gunha was awesome!**

**Next time we discover the truth, also who guessed the identity of the "special guest"**

**Well anyway Read and Review!**


	9. Chapter Eight: Endless Fiction

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Chapter Eight: Endless Fiction. **

"Short-hair what are we going to do! It'll catch us at this rate!"

"I'm working on it, but I can't exactly fire a railgun while holding on to you, the time I need to concentrate while trying not to fry you is time we don't have!"

"My walking church will protect me!"

"You're what?"

"It's a special magic on my cloths that protect me from nearly any sort of attack!"

"I see…but would it still work without your cap?"

"What do you mean?!"

"Your cap fell off when I grabbed you,"

"What?! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought it was just a cap!"

As the two girls continued to argue the gigantic pink haired dinosaur with fairy wings made of cake got closer to the level 5, and she barely managed to dodge when he struck, but then again it wasn't very hard…he had little t-rex hands after all.

But his neck was enormous.

However, Mikoto noticed something.

"That's it!"

And with that she began her assault!

…

"Are we going to try to save Biri-Biri and Index soon?"

The two girls were currently engaged in a deep conversation over minions when Touma's words reached them, feeling embarrassed they decided to get serious. After all this was no time to talk!

"But I think Misaka-san has things under control…"

Just then a familiar small cap stained with ramen floated by the boat catching certain people's attention.

"Isn't that…"

"Maybe we should get more serious shouldn't we…"

Just as the words left Laura's mouth however, Mikoto landed on the boat with a couple of sparks. She had done her part and the ramen began to all but vanish (thanks to a convenient sewage system), leaving the "team" standing on a boat that was about to capsize.

But that was the least of their worries at the moment, as in front of them lay a squirrel on the verge of tears.

"How!"

"It really wasn't that hard, I just noticed that you were bleeding quite a lot for a guy who hadn't been hit yet and realized that while you yourself weren't injured, the rest of the creatures surrounding you were."

The Squirrel looked livid and let out a barbaric cry, one so powerful that it caused Kuroko to awaken from her coma thinking it was Touma's mating call…

Yah, we don't know why she thought that either…

"I will protect Onee-sama's chastity!" she cried, needless to say she was put back into a coma several sparks later.

"I was hoping to use this when I faced Aliester, but you'll do!"

And with that, an enormous hand erupted from the ground, catching everyone off guard. However those few seconds was all the Squirrel needed to enter the gigantic Mech, grab Mikoto, and shove her into the robots chest (which had a small opening build just for her).

"What the hells that?!"

An evil laughter was heard and everyone's eyes widened as the enormous robot, which looked like a certain pair of space frogs "God Keron" stood over them.

"Now it's over." The squirrel said, his voice booming "with railgun functioning as my power source this robot is unstoppable! And by using the network your puny Accelerator won't stand a chance! Now hand over Index and I may let you go!"

The heroes looked at the robot as if it were stupid before muttering to themselves

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Misaka still holding index when we saw her?"

However they didn't get a chance to say anything as the robot shot a giant beam from its two ridiculous hands "if you won't hand her over to me, then you will all die!""

However the impact never came, as the beam suddenly turned around and hit the robots cockpit, sending the squirrel to the ground.

"Why…" he muttered suddenly the robots small chest hatch opened and out came Mikoto, along with Index.

"Are you serious, you put me, the world's greatest electromaster in the center of your machine, of course I would hack it!"

"The squirrel berated itself for making such a huge mistake and began to twitch uncontrollably, as if the last of its sanity had finally left him. All the meanwhile Mikoto was taking whatever sister clones the squirrel had kidnapped out of the machine.

"We were careless, Misaka states as she explains how she ended up in this situation," one of them had said.

However, the fight was far from over and as if gaining his sanity back, the squirrel hit touma over the head and used a spell to make everyone else fall asleep. It failed due to Image Breaker, but he didn't seem to notice.

"You think you've bested me do you, well I'll show you!" the squirrel cried, foam beginning to gather in its mouth "I'll use my trump card, _Endless Fiction_!"

And with that, the scene was engulfed in a blinding white light.

…

While this was our forgotten heroine, Himegami Aisa, ran with all her might. In her hands was an item that could defeat the enemy once and for all.

It was the Blasting Rod. (Which the squirrel had unknowingly dropped back in chapter six)

She had found the item after it landed on her head, once she realized what it looked like, she immediately made her way out of the woods to show it to index. Then a river of ramen had made its way over to her, and she would have drowned if it wasn't for the item, the second the ramen had gotten near it had been blasted away and Himegami could only marvel at its power.

Then she heard a little voice in her head, it told her to hear toward the giant monster, and still rather impressed by the items power, complied. Along the way she helped save a girl wearing a baseball helmet and clinging to a bat as if her life depended on it and told her of her mission given to her by the magical item.

At first the girl didn't seem to believe her, but after witnessing another blast, she had all but jumped aboard to help her with her "mission".

And so the two black haired girls made their way over to the blinding light.

…

As the light dimed down, the group could only stare at the squirrel in confusion. While most of the teams females (meaning the sisters, misaki, mikoto, and index) were looking over touma. The rest (minus a still down Kuroko and Accelerator) only looked upon the scene in awe. Then Laura remembered something.

"I just realized something, didn't you burn down a tree after we erased Index's memories for the first time?" she asked looking at stiyl as if he were some sort of unruly child.

"What?"

"Ah, so this is his entire fault." Misaki said, deciding to put her own two cents in.

"Wait what!"

"Are you serious?"

Index just gave Stiyl a look, a look full of pity, as if he were a lost cause before returning her attention to Touma.

"Don't look at me that way, I'm innocent I tell you!"

Just then the Squirrel let out a war cry and flew toward the sky, fully determined on obliterating them all.

"You won't get away this time, thanks to my _Endless Fiction_ I now possess the power of the strongest being in the universe!" he cried, raising his newly gained hands in the air.

If anyone on the ground took the situation seriously, they may have wondered what his new form was. His _Endless Fiction _had given him the body of a man, and not just any man

But the most hated/loved man in the world.

It had given him the form of Son Goku (with a Squirrel head)

And he was preparing his most powerful attack.

The Spirit Bomb.

**Shinnypichu88's authors note: before you ask, yes, yes it was form ArmoredCoreNineBall's story Forgotten. consider it an easter egg.**

**next Chapter is the end! i'm also planning some more parodies hopefully better written featuring a few characters that are rarely used.**

**the first will star Mikoto and her SISTERS (this one doesn't count as the special stories i mentioned a few words ago) making a movie for the world to see.**

**the second will star our favorite nun as she discovers the magical world of Minecraft**

**and the third will be staring none other than Stiyl, Himegami, and Saten (- she doesn't count either)!**

**may also make a forth staring Kuroko. just to make 5 parodies and be able to sleep at night.**

**well until next time, hope you like the final battle between the Squirrel and a certain someone!**

**take a guess as to who, come on i dare you (its not Touma)**

**so until next time, Read and Review!**


	10. Epilogue: Clash Of Champions!

**Attack of the Killer Death Squirrel!**

**Epilogue: Clash Of Champions!**

Everything had called down the following day, sure there was still the obvious fact that a lot of the city was in shambles (an entire district) but it was covered up as an esper pulling a prank (seeing as somehow, by some miracle no one had died…except for that hooker, and the squirrel but no one cares about those people (and critter))

So Touma made his way to a certain high school, ignoring the fact that index was using a laptop that he didn't remember owning (ignoring the fact that she seemed to know how to use it in general) he also ignored the fact that there were several white vans making their way to Tokiwadai, and the fact that Stiyl was hanging around Himegami and another girl (but to be fair they were only around a year older than him) talking to some weird stick.

Yes, Kamijou Touma was ignoring a ton of things that morning. Because frankly, he was positive that he'd get involved if he paid them any mind.

But alas, _shit happens_.

As for what happened to the squirrel after it became goku…well that's a story for another day.

Or for me telling it to you right now!

_The Spirit Bomb, a powerful technique that took energy from willing life forms, the squirl, wanting to avenge his fallen family attempted to use it to end everything in one hit! however the spirit bomb could not be used by one without a pure heart and as a result, it began to go out of control due to the squirls hatred._

_"I guess this will have to do!" the critter cried as he improvised and fired a huge beam of energy at his targets._

_However the blast never came, as a blur suddenly got in the way of the attack and punched it to the ground._

_"Fufu, it's not nice to shoot giant energy beams at little girls and cripples, but don't worry I will help you through GUTS!"_

_And with that, Squirrel Goku was sent flying by an explosion._

_"so…anyone want to go and see if the arcade is open?" Misaki asked_

_"why!" _

_"Ah don't say that Misaka-san, I'm only putting the idea out there because of how much you love the arcade."_

_"Maybe we can try playing that new MMO there to, Misaka says as she wonders about the interesting new game."_

_"What's an MMO?"_

_"It's a fantasy game which lets you do things you normally can't without getting in trouble!, Misaka says while trying to corrupt the young nun."_

_"Maybe the grocery stores still open…"_

_"Hey…are we going to do anything about those two?" Stiyl asked, referring to Gunha and the squirrel but was ignored._

After that everyone went their separate ways, and Index learned how to use a computer and play online games thanks to a very helpful sister, as for what happened with everyone else.

Well you'll just have to wait and see.

_(To make things easier, the squirrel will be called Soku, a mixture of goku and squirrel)_

_Soku crashed into the side of a building, checking his mouth to make sure his jaw wasn't broken he stood up and spit out blood, ignoring the scared office workers in the room and flew out of the building, fully intent on taking the head of the one who dared punch him._

_However he was once again kicked to the side, crashing in a small park._

_"Quit punching me and accept your defeat like a man!"_

_"That is clearly impossible!" the level 5 yelled, punching the squirrel and sending it through another building. _

_"You little fucker take this,_ _Destructo Disk!" he cried throwing the energy disk at the unfazed level 5_

_"Gutless moves like that won't defeat me!" the boy cried and used his forcefield projection to protect himself._

_However the dis turned out to be a distraction for Soku to charge an even stronger attack,with the charging completed he fired the Kamehameha. _

_Gunha's eyes narrowed and he took a deep breath "I see, your guts have been diminished long ago, but do not worry for I will ignite them once more! Prepare yourself for those without guts cannot survive this, Amazing Punch!" he cried, punching the beam, at first it seemed evenly matched, until Gunha let out a mighty roar and began to advance, causing the beam to split, as if hitting an unbreakable wall. _

_Soku noticed this and time froze, it seemed that no matter what he did, he could not accomplish his revenge… maybe, it was time to let it go?_

_And just as he seemed to accept defeat, his head was roughly grabbed and he was smashed into the ground below._

_"Bitch, you remember me, HUH!" a certain accelerator cried before using his powers and banging Soku's head into the ground, until the poor thing became noting but mush bellow the number ones feet. Gunha, decided it was best to just leave, as that fight had made him hungry and made his way to the nearest Japanese McDonalds._

_After a while, accelerator got bored and went home, leaving Kuroko to have to clean up Soku's remains._

_She was not amused._

_On the other hand, a certain Aliester was, but after seeing all the damage the annoyance had caused decided never to do this again._

_With that settled, he decided it was time to retrieve the Blasting Rod._

And so ends our tail, as for what happened to our heroes after word…well that is easily explainable.

Index had discovered Minecraft and saved Minecraftia from the return of Herobrine…

Mikoto and Misaki had prevented the existence of the sisters from becoming common knowledge after someone had recorded three of them having a conversation.

Himegami, Saten, and Stiyl had embarked on a quest to (unknowingly) return the blasting rod.

And Touma plus Kuroko had saved the city from the BROTHERS.

But these are all stories for another day….

The End.

**Shinnypichu88's authors note: well what did you think? Was it rushed or just right?**

**Also planning on making those stories I mentioned earlier so stay tuned.**

**Thus ends the story of Attack Of The Killer Death Squirl.**

**You can expect a better version to be released in the future….maybe.**

**Well, Read and Review!**


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